Pat, thank you again
I wish i was as positive when working on my car or at my job, as when writing for my experiences. There are many persons in one skin, and frequently fight each other
Usually follow emotions, rather than common sense, and probably that is why don't like planning and struggle with setting goals, and most importantly follow them.
Each morning when I wake up, it is like the day before didn't exist. Just follow the easier path, the same as when the current follows the path with least resistance. I think i am addicted to searching the best source of information available, but when I find it, do not use it the way I should. My PC and head are full with tons of stuff and ideas, but i guess I am afraid to start implementing them. Or just find something more interesting. That is why i try to limit my exposure to Internet. Google state that their main goal is to gather all information that was created EVER . I don't remember the percent that they are currently at. I don't want to continue searching for the rest of my life. I feel that although technologies give you so much information today, that they also take from you the time to think. I am highly demotivated to do things that someone already did or to search for the solution, instead of trying to think about it myself.
Here is an interesting video (Google makes sure that their employees have the chance to improve themselves in many areas, not only in their job):
I like the idea of racing cars, because know that while trying to learn, this will make me a better person. And i have lots of things to fix. While reading books like "Going Faster", the "Speed Secret" series, watching DVD's and YouTube videos, reading other people experiences, i somehow succeed to place myself in the context, and imagine how i am doing it. Well, actually doing it is another thing, but from time to time try to fix this. The last time I experienced this, which may be compared to being in the "Zone" is by watching a DVD about building a Lotus 7 kitcar. It made so much sense and seemed so easy, that I actually spent some time thinking about building one myself.
I have few friends that are also involved in racing, and usually admire their passion. Some of them can express it with words, some of them not, but they actually live for racing. I sometimes stop at the point of trying to be valuable to them somehow, mainly with discussions and information. I am lots of time overwhelmed with the things that I should do, and at this point find it easier to read, instead of DO something. I know what is the problem, but bad habits as you know are not easy to overcome
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'Perfect' is the enemy of 'Good'.
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Yep, if it aint perfect, i am not happy with it, and this on of the main reasons to not be persistent with doing something. This is why i posted the Einstein thread too. I like posting stuff that shows my weaknesses. I am not afraid to admit my mistakes or weaknesses. Usually i see the end result that I want, but during the path when things start to deviate from this perfect image I have, i loose interest. I should start looking more into the present, than the future.
I don't know if I am more afraid to make mistakes or to learn bad habits, which after that will be hard to unlearn. That is why i search for the best possible source of information in first place. But the search exhausts me, and when I find it, don't have the energy to read it and apply it.
But learning is a never ending process, so the least thing I can do is through my hobby try to touch the enlightenment. Surely ignorance saves you lots of troubles, but I am not interested in it and want my life to have a reason.
I also try to be open to anything, which made me remember one of the scenes of the 2012 movie:
The old monk filling the young monk's cup till it overflows and saying:
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'Like this cup you are full of opinions and speculations. To see the light of wisdom, you first must empty your cup.'
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This is what I am trying to resurrect now. I like old and simple cars. Driving it gave me the feedback that i really expect from a car. No ABS, power steering or unneeded electronics. Good and reliable engine... Formula Atlantics used to race with 4A-GEs, although with a lot better specifications
'88 Toyota Corolla AE92 GTi (4A-GE)