I need help with this funny/sad letter, please.

[sydude]

My jokester Skippy CSR, Jimal, asked me if I would consider helping out a kid who has some questions about getting into racing. I said 'sure'. Next thing I know, I get this (!!):

Sy,

Thanks for contacting me. I guess i'll start by giving you the story that I gave Jim, in case you don't already know. Then you'll have some background on me.

Im 15 years old (16 in June), and live in Cheyenne, Wyoming. As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a pro race car driver. I've never had any racing opportunities out here though, not only because Wyoming has nothing for racing, but most of my family either didn't have the money to help me, or just didn't agree with me, and didn't care to support it. Now that im 15 though, I spend most of my free time, either researching things like Skip Barber, or working on my street car. Im trying to find out everything I can, and get to know anyone that I can. As the plan is now, I'll be getting a job this summer, and from there I will save every penny that I can, until I have enough to go to the Skip Barber race school, and eventually, the race series. Racing is my only goal in life. Right now, I haven't gained much toward racing, but I am looking into a sponsor. If I can find one, I would like to make my street car into a billboard for them. That way I will have a little help to get there a little faster. Know of anyone that might help me? I know that Im already at a disadvantage because of my age and lack of experience, compared to most other racers.

Well, thats me. What should I know about you?

BC

I've formulated a response, but would be interested to hear what you guys would say to him! And please save me the torture of responding to the line 'what should I know about you?' - no terrorist jokes etc.. please!

Meanwhile this is probably just a prank...

[MJAmok]

Tell him that if he wants to lose the racing bug and save a ton of dough, to look to me as a mentor! Just look at what I did to the spirits of my last "little buddy"! In the words of Andrew Dice Clay, "he went home terrorized!"

[sydude]

Originally Posted by MJAmok

Tell him that if he wants to lose the racing bug and save a ton of dough, to look to me as a mentor! Just look at what I did to the spirits of my last "little buddy"!

To save myself from entering hell (which may already be assured), I can in no way have this poor kid look to you as a mentor. I've formulated the following response. Please let me know if it's ok (this isn't a joke...):

Hi -----,

I'm really impressed with your enthusiasm for getting into the sport. There are a lot of options out there for you, and you need to consider them carefully before doing anything.

The big open question that will determine what you should do is, what kind of experience do you have? If you've been racing Karts or midgets or other things competitively for a few years, then it may be time for you to move up to racing formula cars like Skip Barber's, by starting with their school.

But if you have little or no racing experience (and I take it that at your age you either have no road car experience or just one year or so), then the best thing you could do is to get into racing Karts of quarter scale midgets etc as soon as possible. Otherwise you'll be wasting your money going to a racing school - you need to develop regular driving fundamentals before you get into a big race car.

Sy

[sydude]

I sent it. You guys all lost your chance to mess up a perfectly good response. Now the kid has received some solid advice. Where is the fun in that?

[sydude]

I just got this reply. Now I know for a FACT that you guys were messing with me! Funny.

Sy,

I have greatly considered karting. I've been looking into them for a while
now, but being about 16 already, I thought I would be pretty far behind the
others. Starting on the lowest rung of the ladder, isn't really an option at
this point. Now if I could find a good karting league, in which I could race
on a somewhat professional level, then I would do that.

My mind set is, that if I get street car and some auto-cross experience right
now, it would still help me to go to a racing school, and begin racing in Skip
Barber. If I had the money to, and had a few years of my life back, I would
race karts. But if I start now, it could be quite a while before I get into
actual cars.
I will trust you on this though, if you insist on karts. But if I begin in
karts, where would you recommend racing them, at least semi-pro, on a national
scale. I want to see people, and I want people to see me.

I cant start out too small. I need to get into the sport, and on the scene.
Racing is all i've got. I'll work as hard as I have to, and spend all my time
and money on it. And I trust you'll help point me in the right directions
along the way. Thanks. Hope to hear from you soon.

BC

[Jimal Temus]

Actually Sy, we aren't messing with you. The difference here is this kid sounded legitimate enough in my first contact with him to not send our generic "I want to be a race car driver" response to. We get these e-mails DAILY. Some kid who sees racing on TV and thinks he can do it to, without understanding the work that is involved to do it on any high level, and the low percentage of drivers who can ever make a living at racing.

[sydude]

So what's your generic 'I want to be a race car driver' response?

[Jimal Temus]

We usually send out some version of this to answer general questions about how to get into racing. Some of it is dated, seeing how our relationship with CART isn't what it used to be...

"Getting started in the Formula Dodge Race Series is as simple as making a phone call. Drivers are first required to complete a Three-Day Racing School or have equivalent experience - i.e. hold a valid SCCA competition license or show proof of completion an accredited program.


We schedule racing & driving schools throughout the US year round. The Three-Day Racing School is offered at 20 tracks. We provide vehicles, helmets and driver suits. The Three-Day Racing School is conducted using the Formula Dodge racecar. The Formula Dodge is a single-seat, mid-engine, open-wheel racecar built by Mondiale Cars, Ltd. The car is powered by a 2.0-liter, 4-cylinder, 16-valve, SOHC, fuel-injected Dodge engine. This engine produces 130 horsepower at 5,800 RPM. The power is directed through a Hewland 4-speed manual gearbox, and the car rides on 50-series B.F. Goodrich high-performance radials that give excellent progressive feel all the way up to the limit of adhesion; 1.2g for this car. The weight of the car is 1,050 lbs. With this car, you will learn the fundamentals of driving a racecar on your own at speed. The Three-Day Racing School combines three full days of driving on the racetrack with classroom instruction and individual coaching. I can provide you with details on what each of the three days will encompass if you'd like, or you can refer to our website for that same information. Successful completion of the Three-Day Racing School will qualify you to apply for your SCCA Regional Competition License.



Graduates of our Three-Day Racing School can then continue and enter the CART/Skip Barber Formula Dodge Race Series. The Skip Barber Formula Dodge Regional Race Series is truly an “arrive and drive” series. Skip Barber provides the cars, mechanics, parts and, most importantly, the instructor/coaches at each event. We'll also provide helmets and suits - your minimum investment in equipment would be in shoes and gloves. Your crash damage liability is limited to the first $4,500.00 worth of damage to the racecar (per incident). You simply pay for your race weekend(s), and any subsequent lapping or practice sessions, and we take care of the rest. You'll participate in up to 7 Race Weekends in any of four regions around the country - East, Midwest, South and West (the East region runs 8 Race Weekends). You get two races per weekend, and earn points toward an amateur Regional Championship. The East and Midwest Regions are contested during the summer months between April and October, the South and West run a winter schedule between October and April. You can race with us year-round!



Three-Day Racing School graduates simply need to participate in a minimum of two Advanced Activities in order to be eligible for your first Practice and Race Weekend. The Advanced Activities are either Lapping Sessions (80 track miles - $925.00); the Car Control Clinic (advanced car control class using the racecar, Dodge Dakota pickup and Viper SRT/10 on skid pad and autocross course - $925.00); or the R/T 2000 Advanced Two-Day Racing School ($2,495.00). By completing two activities (the R/T 2000 Advanced School counts as two), you will then be eligible for the Practice Session (two 28-minute, official timed session - $925.00) and the Race Weekend (20-minute qualifying session followed by race Saturday, warm-up followed by race on Sunday - $2,395.00). Points are awarded for finishing position and are accumulated over the course of a season toward your region's championship. Championship positions are based on your best 13 of 14 finishes (15 out of 16 in the East). Again, Skip Barber will provide the racecars, suits, helmets, and most importantly, instructors and coaches at each event. Racers typically budget about $25,000 - $30,000 per season.



The car you will drive in the CART/Skip Barber Formula Dodge Race Series will be the Formula Dodge R/T 2000. This car uses B.F. Goodrich high-performance radials and a 5-speed sequential transmission. The car features a single-element front wing and a dual-element rear wing, and the 2.0-liter engine now develops 150 horsepower. This exciting car elevates the series to a new level, and offers features not found at this level of racing. Lapping, Practice and Race Weekends will use the Formula Dodge R/T 2000.



By finishing in the top ten in points for your region, you will be invited to participate in the Formula Dodge National Championship, presented by Racer Magazine. The National Championship runs 7 Race Weekends at selected Eastern and Midwestern Regional events, as well “stand-alone” events.



The winner of the Formula Dodge National Championship will receive a grand prize of a $100,000 credit, to be paid to a race team that fields a car in an open-wheel road racing series for the champion. Positions 2 through 10 in the final standings will receive a check for $10,000.



"We are in full support of expanding the Barber CART Scholarship Ladder," commented Robert Dole, CART Driver Development Manager. "While the Barber CART Scholarships are already a key and integral part of the CART Driver Development System, we believe this move is more in line with the current demands of drivers looking to move up the CART Ladder. While it grants worthy drivers a strong form of assistance, it still challenges them to learn and succeed at the business of motorsports."



I hope this information is helpful. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance."

It seems to answer most if not all of the questions the casual contact may have.