sniffpetrol.com - Team Juicy Racing's Racing School and Race Series Forums

sydude · #1 06-30-2005

Sort of like an Automotive 'The Onion' --

http://www.sniffpetrol.com

A funny sample:

PORSCHE INCREASES CONFUSION PERFORMANCE

Porsche's new Cayman coupe is hugely significant, not only because it gives the German sports car maker a fourth model line and hence something for Autocar to use as a cover story for the next six months, but also because it allows the company to maintain its lead in having the most confusing model line up in the world. "That's right," agreed a spokesman, somewhat unnecessarily. "For too long we have ignored customers who want a Porsche that almost looks like a 911, that's almost as fast as a 911 and costs almost as much as a 911 but that isn't a 911. And now they can buy one. Almost".

Cayman in a Cayman on the Cayman (Islands), yesterday

The Cayman's introduction will come as a relief to Porsche management who had privately expressed concern that the company's range was losing its edge, in particular against child's plaything sports car manufacturer TVR which has maintained a strong confusion edge with a range of models that are all about the same size and price and performance for no explicable reason whatsoever.

In the past Porsche's confusion performance had entirely to revolve around the 911 range itself with a needless and baffling proliferation of two- and four-wheel-drive variants featuring slightly difference engines, power outputs, body styles and funny spoiler things on the leading edge of the bonnet. Spies say the Cayman finally allows the Boxster platform to play a crucial role in spreading confusion, along with the Cayenne, the success of which continues to confuse everyone because it's completely irrelevant and looks shit.

birkmama · #2 06-30-2005

This car will be the end to the 911. Listen you guys, you know who I mean. All prestige and respect for this icon will be erased by this savings account sports car. And I bet it will drive circle around the 911, too.

birkmama · #3 06-30-2005

But to be quite honest, the M3 is also not what is used to be. I just got back from the airport and could not draft by an SLK55. To be honest could not really stay in the draft. This little V8 has a mighty punch north of 140mph.

But maybe it was also my boss' fault who rode with me and had two BigMac's for lunch.

rhpearson · #4 06-30-2005

I loved this one from a few years back:

PORSCHE 'TRICKED' BY OWNERS CLUB

There were red faces in Stuttgart this week after Porsche officials realised they'd been sold a dummy by their own owners club. "A couple of years ago we sent out a questionnaire asking what existing owners would like to see from Porsche in the future," said an anonymous source (pictured, right), "When we saw the results we were surprised to find everyone wanted a large 4x4. So we decided to make one. Now it turns out they were taking the piss."

"That's right," confirmed Rasping Cough, President of the Porsche Club UK, "we liased with our European compadres to play a little prank. We decided to ask for the most ridiculous, un-Porsche thing in the world. We didn't realise they'd actually do it, the clots."

"Gott in Himmel," said our Porsche source (in German), "What are we going to do? We've spent a fortune on this and now we are going to look like silly twats."

"Ha ha ha ha," laughed Francois Framboise of Le Renault Club De Europe, "We ourselves played a similar trick a few years ago. We asked for a stupid, jacked up, four-wheel drive version of the Scenic, covered in ugly and disjointed plastic panels. The kind of thing no one in their right mind would buy. But at least Renault didn't actually make it! Oh, hang on, they did. Merde!"

http://www.sniffpetrol.com/issue009.html

macdod · #5 06-30-2005

Martin,

Envy is an ugly thing. My car is not.

People can say all they want, but the car will never be marginalized, minimized, or circumscribed by the written word.

Everybody's eyes give them way when I pass by.

birkmama · #6 06-30-2005

Long live the flat six! Aircooled, that is! While envy might be ugly, beauty can usually only be found in the eye of the beholder.

macdod · #7 06-30-2005

Well unless people mistake me for George Clooney (so NOT!) or there are more gay men in Massachusetts then Melbourne - I think it's the car they're smiling at.

Speaking of which when the Ralph Lauren cars come to your town make sure you go. Absolutely unbelievable cars.

birkmama · #8 06-30-2005

Big DmacD, I so agree with you. Smiling is always beautiful, yet it can have so many causes. Admiration and pity look very similar on most people's faces....

macdod · #9 06-30-2005

Martin,

A funny thing about the Ralph Lauren car collection at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston - their were no BMW's.

Pity.

birkmama · #10 06-30-2005

Depends on how you judge the McLaren F1. But possibly for a watercooled-flat-6 driver the engine is not that important anyway??

Quote:

McLaren Cars commissioned the BMW S70/2 engine, designed and built specifically for the F1. This 6.1 litre, quad-cam, 48-valve V12 power unit produces no less than 627 bhp and drives through a bespoke six-speed transaxle gearbox.

sydude · #11 07-13-2005

I just saw this on sniff - very funny:

cdh · #12 07-13-2005

LOL chicane!

In defense of the Cayman, AutoWeek notes:

As a measure of the Cayman’s ability, Porsche claims a prototype version lapped the Nürburgring’s North Loop in eight minutes and 11 seconds in the hands of former rally ace Walter Röhrl—an improvement of seven seconds over the time he recorded in a similar specification Boxster S late last year, and four seconds faster than the 911 Carrera.

That is big! I think some of the car's lines, particularly the rear three quarter view are gorgeous.

Article Here

.

MJAmok · #13 07-13-2005

From behind it kinda looks like a 911 that is melting, doesn't it?

Haven't decided if I like it yet.

rhpearson · #14 07-13-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by sydude

I just saw this on sniff - very funny:

I have been using this very image as a sig in another forum (what?! there is another forum?!)

rhpearson · #15 08-07-2005

The Anti James Allen campaign is in full swing over at Sniff Petrol now... t-shirts can be had. But I guess in the US the ITV coverage is not that well known? Here, we get both ITV coverage (via TSN) and SpeedTV coverage (albeit on delay as the live broadcast is blacked-out by the CRTC).